Angry People

On my way to the beach to relax between class and work

(usually it's homework hour but NOT today!)

I stopped for four people crossing the road.

It was the right thing to do.

I looked in my rear view mirror in time to see the guy

behind me pitch a temper fit.

He threw his hands up in the air and got his face red yelling at me

(and the pedestrians?)

I thought it was ridiculous.

 

Why use up energy to get mad like that?

Who does that?! It's just such a waste.

As I continued driving I saw him speed past a line of cars

and swerve to get ahead... For what?

 

In the end when we parted paths he was one whole car ahead of me.

He turned and faded from view and I thought of the times in my life

when there have been things that I cannot control and I lose it.

Someone lets me down, slows me down, brings me down,

so I get angry, throw a fit, worry and fret, for what?!

It's never fixed the problem yet.

 

I want to be the sort of person who loves people.

Who is gracious to people.

And I'm not yet. But may that day draw ever closer!

I wait and I hope.

Love Wins

This week - my Spring Break Week - has been full.

Filled up with deep conversation.

And connection.

I'm reminded of something.

Love Wins.

My love book shelf. Because I forget.

The Start of Week Five

It is late, and I am tired. But I wanted to write.

My heart is heavy and sad.

I am broken.

I weep, crying without tears.

The God I'm learning to know is big enough for that.

Sorrow, pain and brokenness is all around me.

Is all inside me.

And so I gaze out into the ocean side to find peace.

And believe that peace and joy will come in the morning.

And I finish another day, trusting that I am completing 

the tasks set out for ME to accomplish.

And I hug and snuggle this little girl.

Being an Auntie.

Seeing joy.

And I sleep. Asking for peaceful healing dreams.

And I believe.

"But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you." Psalm 39:7

"You turned my wailing into dancing; 

your removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy." Psalm 30:11

The Sun Is Out: I am Happy

I have a love/hate relationship with the time change.

When my alarm went off this morning at 6:45am, 

and I did not like it at all.

When the sun was out at 6:30pm,

I loved it.

Week One! (of sixteen)

 First day of school. I put on my Christy shirt and my Alison hat.

Went to class feeling loved.

I spent the most on books for this semester than I have ever before.

And I'm taking fewer classes!!!

Over $500 - and I only bought one new!

But this is the cost of learning. And it's worth it.

(I know it's going to go up when I transfer...)

This is my face when I finished at the end of the week.

That's right! One week down fifteen to go.

I CAN DO THIS!!!

And also, I'm totally in love with my chickens. Isn't this girl cute!

School Starts Tomorrow! My Heart is Happy. And You Are Priceless.

School is starting tomorrow, and inevitably that makes my mind swirl around what I learned last semester.

I also just finished a book called

"Condoleezza Rice: A Memoir of My Extraordinary, Ordinary Family and Me".

Even if you don't agree with Condoleezza's political view point,

she is a mixed bag full of radical ideas if you fit strongly in the Republican or Democratic party,

her book is a MUST READ. I was moved to (nearly) tears in the first 16 chapters.

She describes in such an accessible way the amazing suffering and triumphs black people

experienced in the South during the 1950's and 60's. It was beautiful and I'm thankful

for my friend Katy Cummings for hosting a book club over a year ago which

caused me to purchase the book. It sat on my shelf and moved twice with me before

I got around to reading it. But I devoured it once the first page was opened.

Seriously, I think you should read it.

Today while talking to a few friends I was reminded of our

temptation to place value on people I remember a book

I read while in high school called "You are Special" by Max Lucado.

But I also remembered a conversation I had with my awesome brother Uriah a number

of months ago. During the conversation he said something so profound I wrote it down.

"Commodification assigns values to the objects that you've turned people

into based on the assets and liabilities that you assign them.

It's one step further in the dehumanizing or divorcing of humans from reality.

We cannot assign a value on persons, because we are priceless."  

That's the final thought of the day.

You are beyond quantifiable value.

You are priceless!

My Room!!

Happy me, home from work getting my room set up.
It was 12am!

Window & Door Casing plus Baseboard
will be coming soon.

This ladder has been so useful!

Isn't that bench beautiful?! My sister a friend made it for me.
I love it. Redwood chainsaw cut from a friends own tree.

My little dresser. (Gift from Mom.)

Bookshelves need some order -
and they'll get it.

An enormous thanks for Sandi Stovall who helped me with the final mile of 

getting the floor in and walls textured/painted. 

It looks so nice now. 

I can't wait to finish a few details - 

but it seriously feels like it's "mine" now. 

It's cozy and warm and happy too.