School – Work – Goat Farm – Life – they all take time and energy. There are days when I don’t feel like I have enough of either to go around. I knew I was taking on a new and exciting challenge when I decided to return to school last fall. And there was an overwhelming feeling of KNOWING it was the right thing to pursue; I have excitedly rejoined the student life. I love learning new things. It’s stimulating discussing new ideas – returning to reflect on old ones – and generally – to have my intellect stretched.
Then there are days when I feel overwhelmed. Like all the pieces in my little life puzzle aren’t falling into place in a way that I can manage. I suddenly find that I didn’t look at the schedule for my Sociology class properly and there is an extra chapter I haven’t read. Or the driveway washes out and I have an extra step (namely: walking through the mud to my car down the hill or finding someone to take me down in the 4 wheel drive car.) to complete before I can leave for work. Or it’s oh-dark-o’clock and the goats are gone – just gone! – and we have to call around to find out which neighbors’ seen them, and then hike through the woods to get them back. And I feel overwhelmed, underprepared, discouraged, and ill-equipped. I’m reminded that I’m a failure.
But then, I remember that that’s okay, good even. Because I am loved by a God who says that, in my weakness His strength is made perfect. My failure isn’t superior to his grace and mercy.
Most of the time I don’t allow myself to truly examine my weakness. I like just moving forward and getting things done. So, when I find myself in the moment when I cannot just move forward and I desperately need help, in that moment, I’m learning to be grateful. Because I love a God who is good, looks at me with favor and pours out the grace and wisdom I need for today.
